This song is based on a true story from Melbourne’s newspapers in February 2025. An expectant couple on their way to hospital realised that they weren’t going to make it in time. The baby was happily born healthy – just not in a hospital birthing suite, as originally planned.
The headline on the story was “Stop! There’s A Baby In My Pants” – and if that isn’t the ideal name for a song, I don’t know what is.
PS: We might have taken some poetic licence with the child’s name … we don’t think that Otis was chosen.
lyrics
Stop, there’s a baby in my pants!
Caitlyn was rushin’ through the hospital doors,
Breathin’ real heavy, water on the floor.
Doctors were shoutin’, “Get her to a bed!”
But the lift doors closed, and she screamed instead.
Going up, going fast,
Now she’s stuck, it’s happening fast!
No time to wait, no time to plan,
Then she felt a tiny hand…
Stop, there’s a baby in my pants!
Didn’t think birth would go like that!
One quick push, now here we stand,
Holding a miracle in this hospital van!
Stop, there’s a baby in my pants!
The janitor gasped, the nurse turned white,
The lift was rockin’ – what a wild ride!
Caitlyn was strong, didn’t miss a beat,
By floor number five, she was on her feet!
Going up, going fast,
Now she’s here, it’s done at last!
Didn’t need a doctor’s hand,
Just some luck and a lift that ran!
Stop, there’s a baby in my pants!
Didn’t think birth would go like that!
One quick push, now here we stand,
Holding a miracle in this hospital van!
Stop, there’s a baby in my pants!
Nine months waiting, all for this,
Didn’t expect a lift assist!
No epidural, no birthing plan,
Just a hospital gown and a maintenance man!
Stop, there’s a baby in my pants!
Didn’t think birth would go like that!
One quick push, now here we stand,
Holding a miracle in this hospital van!
Now Caitlyn’s laughing, babe in tow,
Named him Otis—thought you should know!
A birth story wild, you can’t deny,
Sometimes life just takes you
By surprise.
By surprise.
By surprise.